Are you a Baby Boomer Girl with born-again enthusiasm for life and love? If you’ve been through the mill with broken marriages, you can now, thanks to the internet find yourself a wonderful new relationship; if you’ve got similar karma to me, an even better relationship than any you’ve ever known. There’s no way I would have met my man outside of the internet, even though we live in the same city. I’ll share my story – and look forward to hearing yours …
I wasn’t alone as a ‘mature person’ exploring internet dating. I saw page after page of boomers there, and heard, in real life, of many successful matches made. Once I had orientated myself to the whole process I could see why this new cyber-approach makes sense. I’m now a booming advocate for internet dating, for people of all ages.
First of all I presumed I’d better take advice from generation X. But it didn’t turn out that way. Having thought young women around my daughter’s age (early thirties), would be experienced internet daters, I found a surprising number ignore the new trend. They keep date casually, hoping the one of the one night stands might develop into something long-lasting. Reading beneath their jovial, confident exteriors I see, instead, their need to meet a serious mate growing to almost desperate proportions. So of course, I start evangelising.
Why would you stand a much greater chance of meeting Mr or Ms Right on the net than out there in the world? It’s simple. It’s the best of both worlds – the old and the new. Internet dating is actually a cross between two traditional extremes: arranged marriage, and ‘falling in love’ – ‘across a crowded room’ – i.e. coming together as a result of chemical attraction.
I know you’ve got an open mind or you wouldn’t be reading this article. So lets put aside the popular Western ‘pohh-hoo’ of arranged marriage, to at least extract the plus aspects. A great positive with arranged marriage is the comprehensive, objective way a large number of possible contenders are considered. The internet is fantastic for this, on a good site, providing masses of detailed information on truckloads of people; you can literally screen dozens of would-bes, deleting most of them, until you find a few people you want to check out: you can already see they’ve got similar interests and values and you like the look of their photo. (I found all the guys I met were nice people – 99% of the time, as soon I saw them in person, I knew ‘this is not the one’. But at least I’d had a dating experience).
The whittling-down process behind you, you now follow, in ‘Western’ tradition, your heart – or to pit it more bluntly, physical attraction. You can now seal your fate… It was a long time before I found a man I felt good being with. But I still reckon the likelihood of finding one is far greater than looking in pubs, clubs, etc, or joining walking groups or singles groups, when you wouldn’t do that kind of thing in normal life, – (even if you do, do you really think you’ll meet him or her there?).
I reckon internet dating success rates are higher because, like arranged marriages, you study lots of prospective people, (without them even knowing), to glean important basic ‘compatibility’ information about their values, looks, lifestyle and other factors important to you in a mate. Then you get to meet up with them knowing they are looking for a partner. If there’s a bit of a spark, all you need to do is to be on the alert for a while, so you can decide if he or she is a genuine, honest person.
Lots of people scoff at internet dating, presuming that only people who can’t find anyone in ‘real’ life turn to the net – people with no appeal, liars, sleeze bags, addicts, perverts, no-hopers, etc. No doubt there are some of them there too … life’s like that. But all the prospective men I selected to meet from Find Someone were nice, genuine guys. I had been concerned about men who tell lies in their internet profiles, wanting an illicit affair; sure, they’re there. But the real surprise was finding so many women lying! They often lie about their age or their weight! (yes – I happened to know some of them). So you do need to allow for the same range of characters you find in ‘real’ life. The best way to find someone genuine is to be genuine yourself. Be honest and straight up – and post a recent head & shoulders photo in your profile (obviously a flattering one!). I was thrilled to find truth in the old saying ‘like attracts like’.
You might just want to have a fling or a weekend lover, and the internet is helpful in that department too – when people are honest about what they are looking for I’ve no problem with that. Many Baby Boomers today celebrate their rebelliousness and love of life. We’re now free to experience love and sex from a joyful, more non-attached place (and u don’t even have to be on the pill!!!). But the irony is that many more seem to be wondering if they’ll ever have any more sensuous adventures – currently living a solitary life looking back on broken marriages and wondering ‘where to from here?’
“Get thee straight to the internet” I sayeth! I found a wonderful mate (or more correctly, he found me). I had been seriously on the net for around 8 months before Mr Right came along – so be patient. A year on, we’re flinging ourselves into love, life & laughter in sheer happiness – and at this age, who cares what cynics think? So I hope you go for it too! And those of you who have experienced internet dating, what was it like for you?