Tag Archives: Comedy

Free Food

Free Food ImageThanks for your feedback on Have a Body Like an Avatar Alien, below. Part 2 is coming, exploring food on planet Pandora – evidently it’s all free! That got me thinking …

If you live in a privileged country, you’re noticing how much Free food is appearing: dairy free, sugar free, meat free, gluten free, fat free, salt free and just about anything-free except for ‘pay-for-it’ free – unless your little Pandora-style vege garden is thriving, you Avatar you! Going dairy free has helped your singing voice, but overall, Free food doesn’t seem to be making you any slimmer.  Your Avatar body is taking longer to manifest than you’d hoped.

It seems you’re on a plateau, and the plateaus on Planet Pandora are extremely fecund – ripe crops, rich harvests, nuts, seeds, fruits & vegetables …  far too much delicious Free stuff you just have to try. The gluten-free orange & almond cake was the ultimate! It is even flour free.

Mind you, the Na’vi don’t eat refined flour, gluten free or not, because of  its strange effects; they gain weight, (whoever heard of that?), and their beautiful blue skin goes pale.  On Earth, some gluten free flours are highly refined – (corn, potato, white rice flour, and wheat-flour with just about everything removed). None of that for the Na’vi.  They exercise their molars on a huge variety of whole grains, refining only to ‘stone grinder’ level. So much for that paste-y gluten-free cake!

You’re back on the ups & downs of the ongoing-learning curve. Life is for living. Love is for giving. You are stirred into great acts of humanity, like clicking website links to donate food to the poor – after all there is not a food problem on planet Earth, only a distribution problem. After a few link clicks you even start giving real food away,  eating less so others can have more. This magnanimous gesture will help you attain your Avatar body faster, and the compliments will start flooding in.

Meanwhile, I’m inspired: the Na’vi want me to write a ‘Free Food’ song  … Time to get my pen …

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Woody Allen Wishes

It’s that time of the year when we all start clowning around in celebratory mood, sending each other cards  & wishes, and stocking up the pantry with all sorts of goodies (and badies!). Bars and restaurants boom with end-of-year work functions, and life just speeds up …  Perhaps we’ll reach a velocity where Woody’s wishes will come true?   Thanks Louise for emailing me this with your smiles for the silly-season.  I pass them on to all my blog-reading friends – look forward to seeing you all in the ultimate BOOM – the big bang!

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