OK, so you don’t want blue skin; fair enough. But those slim, agile limbs and CGI waistlines! – what wouldn’t you do to have those? You decide to take the leap …
back to nature, where such endowments are a natural given in the hunter gatherer lifestyle. Suddenly ancient ways are making sense. Time to get hunting & gathering …
You’ve been great at hunting for bargains and gathering weight, but now you’ve seen Avatar …
1. Back to the Plot
Square one. You realise that, like the Na’vi, you’re living on a plot of soil – well it was, before you had it concreted a decade ago. It’s out with the concrete and in with a magical, Pandora-style vege & herb garden. Out with that designer pebble courtyard and in with a luscious little lawn. Trimming inches off your waist as you trim the grass with a dinky little push-mower, you’re in tune with nature. Exercise, now integrated into daily home-living, is not only burning off calories, it is increasing your metabolic rate and your lean tissue mass! Every muscle sings as you dig compost and plant and weed your green heaven. Gathering your very own harvest, you thank the goddess you haven’t lost the plot.
2. Out with Labour Saving Devices
Was there white-ware on Pandora? You didn’t even see a laundry, let alone white-ware. You realise over-civilization has you in its deadly, muscle-wasting grip. No longer. You’re washing laundry by hand, picturing yourself dressing real scanty like the Na’vi once your new body is fully formed. Hanging clothes out in the sun, your big-stretch regime has new meaning. Everything hums as you ‘vacuum’ the floor with your hand-sweeper (remember those cute push-things grandma had?). Manual labour is back ‘in’ as do-it-by-hand beaters, graters, peelers and lemon-squeezers consume energy – yours, not the environment’s. Your thighs are lithe from constant knee-bends, your arms are firm enough to go sleeveless and you’ve actually got a waist! But what to do with the waste? A boomer truckload of white-ware & electrical gadgetry is donated to those in need – frantic parents with a house full of kids to raise, for instance. You are now free to fight the good fight …
3. Facing the Cold, Hard Fax
On the 3D battlefield, you were in retreat and your stomach, in advance. You stand on attack, bravely facing the fax – the cold, hard truth aliens have been bleeping to humans since consumerism took over planet Earth. It is this:
Consume Less. If you have surplus fat, you’ve eaten more calories than you need. There is no way to shed weight, and keep it off, other than eating less and exercising more. End of transmission. Gulp. Blush. Surely the facts don’t have to be that black & white? That cold?
Luckily, you’ll only need to eat moderately less, and exercise moderately more – that’s hot! But you soon go cold realising it has to be ongoing. As it turns out ‘cold’ and ‘hot’ are your friends’ – extreme temperatures can increase your metabolic rate by up to 20% – it’s all gong to work out as you work out.
It’s off to hot yoga, or at least a weekly sauna. You jog in the winter air, take bracing, short, cool showers and go easier on the central heating. Being cold makes you fidget, but fidgeting is also your friend! According to US research, fidgety humans are more likely to be slim than laid-back humans. Movement, of any sort, is hot – that’s cool! You pace around. You rapidly improve at yoga, Avatar suppleness now yours to show off! You’re stronger too as you do a little weight-lifting at the supermarket, grabbing five pounds of butter in each hand and carrying them up and down the aisle. You’re so smart! But your stroppy playfulness is short lived. It dawns on you that this 10 lbs of butter is how much extra fat you’ve got stored inside you. Groan. You’re gonna have to do the calorie drop sometime. You decide to ditch the butter … a good way to up your health as you lower your carbon footprint as well as your weight.
If only you could get it over with and go back to normal life. But no, it’s not a quick fix. It’s going to take months to lose that weight in a healthy way, and the rest of your life to keep it off. Yes, you’ll have to permanently eat less if you want to keep your new Avatar body. You won’t be able to go back to the amount you used to eat, because your Avatar Metabolism is slower. It’s slower because you have less weight to carry around. It’s slower because you now eat less. You’re not so hungry because your stomach has shrunk, (and that’s one big stretch you’ll never need to do again!) You will eat less from now on. You’ve faced the cold, hard fax. They took a bit of digesting … but at least you’re digesting something!
4. Learning New, Ancient Ways
It’s induction time; you’re the chosen one – the one who will be super-gorgeous, lithe, fit, muscle-endowed and trim. Your hope for a bright future lies with the alien ancestors. You’ve already started Echo Living, so you’re well on the way backwards. Step further now, into the ancient ways …
~ Mining Precious Minerals
Planet Pandora’s bogglingly valuable mineral, ‘unobtanium’ is not nearly as in demand on planet Earth as the one you’re discovering: ‘weightlossium,’ which is highly active when you get back to the essentials; minerals & vitamins. You discover seaweed, the ultimate mineral-rich food, and other ancient, super-foods. Every calorie counts. You go nutrient-rich – wholefoods, high in nutrients, low in calories; juicy fresh fruit & vegetables being the most valuable. You tread carefully with energy-dense foods – refined, high in calories and low in nutrients; gluggy fries & donuts, and ‘empty’ foods like candy for instance. You start digging into the garden instead of digging in at the bakery, dessert restaurant, sweet shop, or fast food stop. You’re high on nutrition, low on calories. Your new culinary goldmine is raking in the profits.
Leaping around in the wild, you’re eating foods as nature made them. Nothing is refined on Pandora – no food industry exists to refine it. No fillers, additives, artificial preservatives, colours, flavours, humectants, emulsifiers, sweeteners, acidity regulators, modified genes and other profit-making, up-sizing ingredients. Your taste buds burst you into new heights of ecstasy.
As you serve up dinner in your little cabin, you’re doing the diet and it’s delicious! All the vitamins you need are within the healthy, natural foods you love; (though being vegan on Earth you take B12, maybe Vit.D). Sitting on the throne, you reach a new level of ‘regular,’ enjoying kiwifruit, delicious whole grains and the all that natural fibre without even thinking – each day is a moving experience! What a relief – returning to your, natural, unrefined, radiant self! 🙂
Tell us how you go experimenting with your new Avatar body – or at least what you think about ‘weightlossium!’ There’s more coming up, so look out for Part Two … (it will find you if you subscribe by email, top right column). May the force be with you!