1. Dare I mention wrinkles? … waves of skin falling over skin? 2. Do you feel younger in ‘hide-the-evidence’ clothing? 3. Is your mental composure lost at the look of your anatomy while engaging in a forward bend?
Having answered yes to the above, I had to do something about it. I tried the gym … and lasted about two minutes. Then, breakthrough … a way to get my stubbornly sagging biceps to actual lift off point. This song, on my Still Dancing album, does the trick!
Gravity
Good old Newton had a flash Evolved the idea, gave it a bash Wrote it on paper for all to see And now we have the theory of gravity What was firm is not so sound What stayed up must come down Look at great grandma and you will see The long term effect of gravity!
Gravity, gravity It’s all happening to you & me We take it all so seriously May as well laugh at gravity
What was tight is growing slack. You want your youthful figure back But a face lift’s just a bit of messing around When even your internals are falling down! That’s nature – It’s all fine. She gave the solution It’s in the mind. Forget the lines, and sing with me May as well laugh at gravity
Gravity, gravity – It’s all happening to you & me …
But Newton’s in a grave situation Physicists across the nation say Our subatomic essence is totally free Beyond the pull of gravity!
Quantum physics says your face consists of little – mainly space Celebrate! It could be worse – Our essence is the universe! So why not entertain this truth And drink from the quantum fountain of youth? You’re beautiful! Set yourself free! May as well laugh at gravity.
Gravity, gravity, it’s all happening to you & me We take it all so seriously May as well laugh at gravity
Women, they say, are like a book
Hard to read but it’s easy to look
They might dress up in leopard skin tights
They’re animal types
When they set their sights on you
They’re either apples, bananas or pears
But I say women are cuddly bears
They might dress down for menial chores
But love’s in store
When they wrap their paws around you
Now it’s time to pause
For more than a cup of tea
Yes it’s time to pause babe, and
Wrap your paws, your pretty paws around me!
Women are beautiful at every age
Even at the ‘don’t mention it’ stage
When we mention being very wise
Life brings many blessings in disguise
Now it’s time to pause …
Women turn up with plates of food
Often in a playful mood
Wild cats or quiet birds in the nest
You are blessed
Coz they give their best to you
Now it’s time to pause
For more than a cup of tea
It’s time to pause, and
Wrap your paws, your pretty paws around me!
OK, so you don’t want blue skin; fair enough. But those slim, agile limbs and CGI waistlines! – what wouldn’t you do to have those? You decide to take the leap … back to nature, where such endowments are a natural given in the hunter gatherer lifestyle. Suddenly ancient ways are making sense. Time to get hunting & gathering …
You’ve been great at hunting for bargains and gathering weight, but now you’ve seen Avatar …
1. Back to the Plot Square one. You realise that, like the Navi, you’re living on a plot of soil – well it was, before you had it concreted a decade ago. It’s out with the concrete and in with a magical, Pandora-style vege & herb garden. Out with that designer pebble courtyard and in with a luscious little lawn. Trimming inches off your waist as you trim the grass with a dinky little push-mower, you’re in tune with nature. Exercise, now integrated into daily home-living, is not only burning off calories, it is increasing your metabolic rate and your lean tissue mass! Every muscle sings as you dig compost and plant and weed your green haven. Gathering your very own harvest, you thank the goddess you haven’t lost the plot.
2. Out with Labour Saving Devices Was there white-ware on Pandora? Hmmm … You realise over-civilization has you in its deadly, muscle-wasting grip. No longer. You’re washing laundry by hand, picturing yourself dressing real scanty like the Na’vi once your new body is fully formed. Hanging clothes out in the sun, your big-stretch regime has new meaning. Everything hums as you ‘vacuum’ the floor with your hand-sweeper (remember those cute push-things grandma had?). Manual labour is back ‘in’ as do-it-by-hand beaters, graters, peelers and lemon-squeezers consume energy – yours, not the environment’s. Your thighs are lithe from constant knee-bends, your arms are firm enough to go sleeveless and you’ve actually got a waist! But what to do with the waste? A boomer truckload of white-ware & electrical gadgetry is donated to those in need – frantic parents with a house full of kids to raise, for instance. You are now free to fight the good fight …
3. Facing the Cold, Hard Facts On the 3D battlefield, you were in retreat and your stomach, in advance. You stand on attack, bravely facing the cold, hard facts aliens have been bleeping to humans since consumerism took over planet Earth. They are:
Consume Less. If you have surplus fat, you’ve eaten more calories than you need. There is no way to shed weight, and keep it off, other than eating less and exercising more. End of transmission. Gulp. Blush. Surely reality is not that black & white? That cold?
Luckily, you’ll only need to eat moderately less, and exercise moderately more – that’s hot! But you soon go cold realising it has to be ongoing. Like, for the rest of your life. But at least ‘cold’ and ‘hot’ are your friends – extreme temperatures can increase your metabolic rate by up to 20% – it’s all going to work out as you work out!
You start walking in the winter air, taking cooler showers. You float into deep relaxation, basking indoors with a new Pandora-style passive solar heating system. Hot yoga is cool! Avatar suppleness will be yours to show off
You’ve faced the cold, hard diet & exercise facts. They took a bit of digesting … but your digestive system is now Pandora-fit!
4. Learning New, Ancient Ways
You’re the chosen one – the one who will be super-gorgeous, lithe, fit, muscle-endowed and trim. Your wisdom-body is forming a bright future, as you learn to live like the alien-ancestors. Already Echo Living, you’re well on the way backwards. You step further now, into ancient ways …
~ Mining Precious Minerals Planet Pandora’s bogglingly valuable mineral, ‘unobtanium’ is not nearly as in demand on planet Earth as the one you’re discovering: ‘weightlossium,’ which is highly active when you get back to the essentials; minerals & vitamins. You discover seaweed, the ultimate mineral-rich food, and other ancient, super-foods. Every calorie counts.
You go nutrient-rich – wholefoods, high in nutrients, low in calories, digging in the garden instead of digging in at the bakery, dessert restaurant, sweet shop, or fast-food stop. You’re high on nutrition, low on calories. And that new culinary goldmine is raking in the profits!
~Becoming Unrefined Leaping around in the wild, you’re eating foods as nature made them. Nothing is refined on Pandora – no food industry exists to refine it. No fillers, additives, artificial preservatives, colours, flavours, humectants, emulsifiers, sweeteners, acidity regulators, modified genes and other profit-making, up-sizing ingredients. Your taste buds burst you into new heights of ecstasy.
As you serve delicious dinners in your little cabin, vitamins & minerals are pouring in, forming, strengthening and energising your dream-Avatar body!
Sitting on the throne, you reach a new level of ‘regular,’ enjoying kiwifruit, delicious whole grains and all that natural fibre without even thinking. Each day is a moving experience! What a relief – you’re returning to your, natural, unrefined, radiant, not-so-blue self! 🙂
Tell us how you go experimenting with your new Avatar body – or at least what you think about ‘weightlossium!’ And don’t miss Part Two … May the force be with you!
Baby Boomer Girl 