Tag Archives: Comedy

Still Dancing

You’re not a dancer – but a quirky rhythm sometimes compels you to cavort? We’re on the same dance sheet then. And Still Dancing, my new album, is likely to get you laughing and celebrating the later stages of life as you rock with the beat.

Yes! The album is almost finished! Truly! After being a loyal follower of this site, patiently waiting for the album for the past decade, you must be saying, ‘Oh Yeah? Believe it when I see it and hear it.’ Let me reassure you. All the tracks bar one are now mixed and in the mastering engineer’s bin. When Lockdown is lifted, we’ll be completing the last beautifully crafted track, sorting the cover design and lining up the release date … after several years of weekly studio sessions; good things take time!

Working with award-winning sound engineer, Stephen Poulton is fantastic. He’s a stunning guitarist who is tuned into the finer details needed to develop a meaningful emotional journey in a song or arrangement. So I love working with him; musically, we’re on the same wavelength, as they say.

My songs cross many genres, and every track we do has a unique sound and feel, heightened by the talented musicians in Magic & Mischief. We’re mainly a studio band, but occasionally we play live. Meanwhile, here’s the lyrics of the title song.

Still Dancing

She brings sweet love baked in cake tins
To the weavers’ community ball.
And flowers – those frilly fake ones,
To decorate the hall.
You can almost touch her excitement.
I can’t believe she’s 93!
As her partner invites her onto the floor,
She smiles and says to me …

‘The old gal’s still dancing,
High heart and low heels.’
Singing and laughing, how graceful she feels
Swaying a lifetime of love round the room.
The old gal’s still blooming, still romancing,
Still dancing.

Over supper she tells me, ‘Come visit,
For a chat. Love to see you again.
Number 7, just knock, I’ll be there- if I’m not
Living in memory lane!’ she laughs.

She says, ‘While your ticker’s still ticking,
You’ve got so much to offer this world.’
She tells me I’m just a spring chicken.
‘Cheer up, lass! Inside you’re still a girl.
Go play! Make the most of each moment.
go swirl that pretty blue dress!’
A quiet voice asks, ‘Are you up for a whirl?”
Tell myself as I say ‘yes’
The old gal’s still dancing …

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Bloke with a Shed

I wrote this song when I first met Charles. Umpteen years later it’s finally adding a bit of mischief to the Still Dancing album.  Steve Poulton’s playful instrumentation includes, yes …  the screw gun. And here’s a pic, (in case, like me, you hadn’t seen one before 🙂 )
Bloke with a Shed
I’m a savvy woman who likes to bed
An intelligent man – well bred
A creative type, artistically inclined
With a studio workshop of some kind
Yeah, maybe a bloke with a shed?

Hey wood-worker man! – you look the part
You can fix a fence and a broken heart
I like your shed, yeah, very nice
Look at that bench that buzzer, that vice
That welder – we could spark!

You’re a real bloke with power tools
Y’ gotta skill saw, drill press, very cool
Y’ gotta band saw, grinder, sander – geez, your
Power tools make me weak at the knees!
Y’ gotta nail gun too! But I have to say
That screw gun honey, blows me away
Makes a gal so easily led
Lusting for a bloke – a bloke with a shed

Y’ got so much stuff that just might prove
To be handy one day, y’ cannot move
For number 8 wire, bolts & dust
Oily rags, car parts and rust
Old timber, wing nuts & glue  

This shed is such an awesome place
A heritage spot, a sacred space
You could open it up for public viewing
Earn a fortune while you’re – knitting
(But I see that look on your face …)

You’re just you – don’t realise
How attractive you are as the varnish dries
What is this? Is this for me?
Will I be your girl? Certainly!  Woah!

You’re a real bloke with power tools
Y’ gotta skill saw, drill press, very cool
Y’ gotta band saw, grinder, sander – geez, your
Power tools make me weak at the knees!
Y’ gotta nail gun too! But I have to say
That screw gun honey, blows me away
Happy ending! Paint the town red to
Show how much I lust ya, my bloke with a shed!
My bloke with a shed!

 

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Black

Do you ‘wear the uniform?’ Being such a sweaty colour, is black cool? What percentage of your wardrobe is black? And do you think Baby Boomer Girl looks slim in that black wig & Gothic getup? 🙂  Why not join her and rock along with the Black track on her Still Dancing album.

Black © Radha Sahar

Black as jet, black as night
Colour’s wrong, black is right
Black magic at witching hour
Black has balls. Black has power
Gothic girl, Dracula drools
Vampire black, very cool
A Mahler Symphony, a bouncer, a waiter
Not in black? Then see ya later

Black – makes your Guinness thicker
Black – woo! – the sexiest knickers!
Black –  makes you graduate prouder
Black –  makes your stereo louder
Black – makes you graduate prouder
Black Light – makes the dance floor shimmer
Black Tights – make your belly slimmer
Black Beans – make the vegans grin, and
Black  Teams – make the Kiwis win, Go
Silver Ferns, Black Caps, All Blacks!!!

I bet ya you have never seen
Johnny Cash or Iggy Pop in pink or green
Black riding boots. Black spinning vinyl
Black undertaker. Black is final
From top to toe in formals and burkas
The artists ‘n musos and office workers
Wear that black – It’s a guarantee
You’ll be taken seriously …

We buck the system, refuse to conform
But we choose to wear the uniform
A sea of people in the street
Black from their heads to their
Burdened urban feet …

Black – makes you’re Guiness thicker
Black – woo! the sexiest knickers! …
Go Silver Ferns, Black Caps, All Blacks!!!
Black!   Beautiful black!  Glorious black!
Victorious black!

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Songline Running


You’re a creative type? Love the buzz of that busy mind bursting forth new ideas? Of course! There’s only one little hiccup; a bug in the cranial software. It’s called ‘conscience’.

This little pest insists on telling you you should be exercising (just when you thought you’d mastered the fabulously healthy skill of dismissing all ‘shoulds’).  It gnaws at you with the ‘exercise’ message, ensuring you faintly recall a virtuous feeling you had when you did some years ago. But a huge groan keeps pace with conscience, fuelling an ongoing battle for songwriters like me, who are notorious for not exercising anything other than the mind. Until now.

Today,  a new sport, Songline Running, invented itself. And it’s not the regular sport of running with headphones on.  It goes like this:

You take up Songline Running, (having a name for something always helps).  In your first session, totally new, (and, you tell yourself, ‘vastly better’), songlines run through your mind as you run – (and, you tell yourself, this is the only way they come in at this level). Even miniature runs yield this quality of creative occurrences.  I call my miniature runs ‘shuffles’ …

Then follows the best bit. You treat yourself with the well deserved REWARD – (you might need to picture the reward before you begin, to get you out the door in the first place). And the reward is? Vastly better songlines of course, (or poetry if you’re a poet, novel ideas if you’re a novelist, and so on). You get to slam all that breakthrough, higher level brilliance into your songwriting software the moment you get home. Athletes call this a ‘warm down’ – you see them stretching in all sorts of gangly poses after the run. But for we ‘arteests’ the best ‘warm down’ is to ‘get it down’ … I’ve just completed my first Songline Run and I couldn’t wait to tell you!  I’m FULL of world-shattering new ideas.

Next time I post a song, you’ll be so impressed you’ll immediately take up the sport yourself, (that is, unless you’re already impressed with this triumphant little article, in which case, you’ll take up the sport now). OK. I’ve warmed down getting this all down. And I’ve popped those gorgeous new lines into my songwriting software, which I reckon is thanking me. Now it’s time for brekkies.

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Filed under The Music of Life, What's Behind the Song

May as well Laugh!


1. Dare I mention wrinkles? … waves of skin falling over skin?
2. Do you feel younger in ‘hide-the-evidence’ clothing?
3. Is your mental composure lost at the look of your anatomy while engaging in a forward bend?

Having answered yes to the above, I had to do something about it. I tried the gym … and lasted about two minutes. Then, breakthrough … a way to get my stubbornly sagging biceps to actual lift off point. This song, on my Still Dancing album, does the trick!

Gravity  

Good old Newton had a flash
Evolved the idea, gave it a bash
Wrote it on paper for all to see
And now we have the theory of gravity
What was firm is not so sound
What stayed up must come down
Look at great grandma and you will see
The long term effect of gravity!

Gravity, gravity
It’s all happening to you & me
We take it all so seriously
May as well laugh at gravity

What was tight is growing slack. You want your youthful figure back
But a face lift’s just a bit of messing around
When even your internals are falling down!
That’s nature – It’s all fine. She gave the solution
It’s in the mind. Forget the lines, and sing with me
May as well laugh at gravity

Gravity, gravity – It’s all happening to you & me …

But Newton’s in a grave situation
Physicists across the nation say
Our subatomic essence is totally free
Beyond the pull of gravity!

Quantum physics says your face consists of little – mainly space
Celebrate! It could be worse – Our essence is the universe!
So why not entertain this truth
And drink from the quantum fountain of youth?
You’re beautiful! Set yourself free!
May as well laugh at gravity.

Gravity, gravity, it’s all happening to you & me
We take it all so seriously
May as well laugh at gravity

© Radha Sahar, February 2009

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Paws … Pause

BoomerAgeI like using humour when it comes to ‘don’t mention it’ aspects of being a woman at the esteemed ‘mature & wise’ stage of life … Enjoy!

Paws
© 2013 Radha Sahar

Women, they say, are like a book
Hard to read but it’s easy to look
They might dress up in leopard skin tights
They’re animal types
When they set their sights on you

They’re either apples, bananas or pears
But I say women are cuddly bears
They might dress down for menial chores
But love’s in store
When they wrap their paws around you

Now it’s time to pause
For more than a cup of tea
Yes it’s time to pause babe, and
Wrap your paws, your pretty paws around me!

Women are beautiful at every age
Even at the ‘don’t mention it’ stage
When we mention being very wise
Life brings many blessings in disguise

Now it’s time to  pause …

Women turn up with plates of food
Often in a playful mood
Wild cats or quiet birds in the nest
You are blessed
Coz they give their best to you

Now it’s time to pause
For more than a cup of tea
It’s time to pause, and
Wrap your paws, your pretty paws around me!

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Plant-Based Food Avatar Style

Free Food Image

Let’s journey to Planet Pandora, and see exactly how those Navi Aliens maintain perfect health and their slim, blue waists.

Dinner on Planet Pandora
Seems a balanced diet of plants and unprocessed, plant-based foods is all they eat there on Pandora. And it’s what our human ancestors ate way back in our primate days. Meeting up with all those gorgeous Aliens munching vegetation, I asked them “You’re not Vegan are you?”
They told me that, in common with vegans on Planet Earth, they don’t eat animal foods. But they are horrified at what can constitute ‘plant foods’ here on Earth: highly processed foods such as white flour, sugar, and oil. The Navi won’t touch them. They eat whole foods. 

Why don’t they eat Oils?
The Navi tell me that ‘healthy oils’ are the oils inherent in whole foods themselves. There is no need to eat that refined oil stuff we have on Earth: it is far healthier to not eat it. While oil is essential to their health, all the oil they need can be adequately sourced from plants – even the omegas. That goes for we humans too, they said.

Do the Aliens only eat Raw Foods?
They eat lots of raw, but they eat cooked too.  They told me this enables more balanced nutrition and better protein levels. They cook mainly the foods that are not healthy or easy to eat raw – e.g. potatoes, soy, dhal & beans, grains. Together with greens, these provide the Navi with complete protein, and billions of micro nutrients. They prefer including legumes & grains to the high intake of nuts & seeds, dried fruit and rare superfoods needed in a dedicated raw food regime.

Did this Way of Eating Originate on Planet Pandora?
It did. But it also did on Planet Earth at the same time – amazing eh!  With their extra-terrestrial powers, the Navi have been able to watch us down here on planet Earth. They were happy that plant-based wholefood nutrition formed the predominant content of the human diet for millennia. They knew that peoples such as the Inuit, the Tibetans, and others in cold climates evolved to eat animals; – they had no other choice). And they knew humans have always eaten some form of animal food to get Vit B12. But the masses ate much smaller quantities than we do today. The Navi are so evolved they even synthesize their own B12 – they reckon we’ll evolve to that too!

Well, thanks guys! I’m sold.  And the following  ‘Earthly’ credits are due …

The contemporary plant-based whole-food movement, where no animal protein is eaten, grew from research done by several American nutritionists, doctors and scientists. At the core are Dr T Colin Campbell, (Professor Emeritus, Biochemistry & Nutrition, Cornell University), Dr Caldwell Esselstyn, (heart surgeon, Cleveland Clinic), Drs Dean Ornish & John McDougall, John Robbins. (see the bios in the last section of the Presentation Folder).  Find out more on the T Colin Campbell Foundation website.

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A Body Like an Avatar Alien, part 2

Here it is!!! – my new Avatar body – not bad eh!

Now before you elaborate on the finer differences between me and the Navi Babe in part 1, realise we are on another planet. On Pandora, no way you would learn about slimming. The Navi eat plant-based wholefood. They put me in the picture, saying …

‘You skip through the forest collecting ripe treats here & there. It’s tempting to graze but you learn that food is actually precious. You gather & hunt for the whole family – none of this individual indulgence stuff. You take what you need and no more – no private pigging out! Anorexia? Bulimia? Obesity? – such diseases of ‘civilisation’ do not occur here’.  If your morning hunt takes all morning; what happened to breakfast? I wonder. They reply …

‘There’s plenty of pure water, and the Avatar Tea in your hunting pouch sports a little plant-milk; just enough protein to keep you going’. I tried it out. By midday I experienced a new feeling – hunger!!! What I used to call hunger was just my stomach digesting. Real hunger feels different – primal and healthy. It only occurs in waves every four to six daylight hours. The Navi explain that they still observe the ancient ways; the ancestors ate according to the sparse cycle of hunger – when and if there was food to go around.

So much for all the slimming tips and recipes we Earthlings secretly hoped to pick up during our Navi training! Evidently the apex of our induction has just been reached. We aimed, we fired and we’re on target. We now have the knowledge of how need to get a body like an Avatar Alien:  be active & eat healthy food in small amounts when you’re genuinely hungry, period. Back to Earth … Galump! As mother used to say “Give thanks”, “Eat your greens” and “Think of all the starving children.”

All your extra indulgences now go into the food bank trolley at the supermarket – lots of struggling families now. You tune into your body and find you’re gradually turning a rather triumphant shade of blue …

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